Proved Mortal…

Prologue

March 27, 2017

The 65-inch Mitsubishi HD—1080p by God!—TV sits there. It came into our family in 2006, about the same time as Sable our Labradoodle. That first Sunday morning, we gloried in its HD clarity and the range and depth of sublime colors of Planet Earth narrated by Sigourney Weaver. It was an event TV moment. The girls played on the floor with our new puppy, as stunning high-definition Canadian geese migrated across the screen. The camera’s geese-eye-level image of them so close, so detailed, you could see the play of muscles under feathers with each beat of wings. Its musical accompaniment, a chorus of honks—fowl vibrato—from surround sound speakers (the ones set in the ceiling heightened, no pun intended, the sense of their overhead flight).

Eleven years on, Sable—that puppy—is our gray lady. Slower, stiff-in-the-hips, but deeply loved.

And the Mitsubishi keeps on keeping on.

“…he is fit for immortality, O best of TVs.” —Changed slightly from the Vedic Tradition, a phrase by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi

Little does it—the TV—know… but my wife, Daphne, has fallen in love with another. Size does matter, as does its ultra-HDness. That 82-inch SmartTV at Costco whispers to her, and she flirts back. But she knows I’m not going along on a new TV, while Old Faithful still gives good service. That’s how I roll. Loyal. Committed.

But… and I’m not sure, yet… I hear whispers, I see the looks and think… Daphne is planning something. Contemplating—maybe even planning—a premature device death. Sabotage, if it won’t die on its own. The Mitsubishi may not see next Fall’s holiday specials.

Epilogue

September 6, 2020

Now, for three and a half-years Daphne resisted—she’s stout-hearted and strong—the siren song of brilliant 4K screens and allure of plug-n-play internet, IOT, connectivity. Sable is our even-grayer lady. Much slower, stiffer-in-the-hips, and needs help to get around, but she is always deeply loved.

And it’s the day the TV (finally) died.

A long, long time ago
I can still remember how
That picture used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could see the creatures of Planet Earth dance
And we—and the TV—were happy for a while

But all the new models made me shiver
With every ad their manufacturers delivered
Bad news on the doorstep
Our TV kept taking one more step

I can’t remember if I cried
as the damn thing just never died
But something touched me deep inside
The day the TV (finally) died…


So, bye, bye Mitsubishi TV…

Drove my Hyundai to the Costco; it was time that we buyed
And them good ole boys on the electronics aisle
Sang… this was the day the Mitsubishi died.

But with a new TV, we’ll be happy for a while…

Bye, bye Mitsubishi TV…

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